Winter memories … I’m #11 of 13 siblings. School day mornings were always a bustle, but when there was hope of a snow day, we’d all just be as quiet as mice just waiting, wishing, willing for the phone to ring and Mom to yell down the hallway “SNOWDAY”! Every single one of us would be up, out of bed, breakfast inhaled and OUT THE DOOR in no time at all. Not really the contemplative January that so many appreciate, but this is an absolute favorite memory of mine! January!!
Looking out my window, here in SE Michigan this past Monday, the snow returned, blanketing the ground while decorating the trees and shrubs with a cake-like white frosting. It seems like winter cannot make up its mind; the temperatures go from one extreme to another, as the snow comes and goes like irregular tides. The fog, during temperature inversions, mirrors my confusion about what is next in my life, as I move into a season of limited time. I am encouraged, in the murkiness, that a shape of a feeling appears, like a reflection in water, blurred by drops of rain rippling over an image I cannot quite discern. It reminds me of a Zen koan I am currently working with: “The coin that is lost in the river is found in the river.”
It seems like all the shifting that is normally hidden underground, in the quiet hibernation of winter, is now visible, exposing all the memories, dreams, and disappointments as they transform into something new. Unfortunately, at this time, I mostly notice the losses and mistakes, yet I am now gradually seeing the coin I thought I lost in the currents of all the progressions in my life. As I try to make every moment count, another one shows up, and my vision blurs again. However, the essence is still there; I just need to continue recognizing it through the ripples, so I can see where I was all along.
Denise and I have been thinking of our parents and Denise’s former mother-in-law and our dear friend Betty a lot this month. Your comment (so many years gone, and never really gone at all. Love is like that) really resonated with me. Thank you for this beautiful reflection. We are on the wait list for Shallowford and we are really looking forward to being with you at Our Lady of Gethsemani in June (I am on the ITMS board).
Thank you so much for this invitation to pause and reflect. 💖
“Even though someone we love passes beyond the veil of this life, the relationship doesn’t end, but it does transform.” Thank you Carrie for these words. I remember you telling me these words before and they have helped me when I think of my mom. I have been thinking of my mom a lot this winter too. I miss her dearly but I know she is still with me. Remembering your words gives me strength in times of sadness when I think of my mom and wish she were here. Thanks Carrie
So beautiful, there is a white blanket of snow here in Sisters, OR too.. and a bit of ice! Thank you for saying that about your mother... I wrote a song after my Mom passed, called My Mom Ruth. It states what you just said. My Mom Ruth 011124.mp3
I resonated with your foregoing daily walks due to bitter cold and so enjoying the wonder of winter from your kitchen window. I love taking photos on y walks but have been content with rising early to watch the sun peak though the snowy trees and create lovely shadows on the ground. How interesting to find variety and wonder each day through the same window.
Inspired by the way you engage people's souls with stories and music from a distance, yet so close, which many churches are now trying to do to reach a wider audience. Would greatly enjoy your thoughts about watching the full eclipse in Indiana on April 8th.
Oh yes, I will be traveling back late into the night to be able to be home and present for the April 8th full eclipse. It is suppose to be pretty soul stirring! I already have my glasses!
Creating online community has become more important in the past years...particularly during the pandemic lock down. Its always a balance of enjoying online experience and in person it seems. I was in conversation last week with several pastors and church leaders who were talking about what spiritual community means in todays world. I think meaningful online community must include engagement. It is much less fullfilling to just observe spiritual community on sunday morning - taking in as if we were watching a tv show. But rather to create ways to engage, connect and be present. There are things about in-person community that cannot be replicated online. They are different experiences. so its always a balance of the two. But particularly now, having places to tap in, to get insight and community with our experience and important questions cannot always happen in person...so meaningful online conversation, questions, practices I find to be very helpful. thanks for your thoughts.
One of your most beautiful reflections, Carrie. Thank you. Winter is feeling especially precious this year. The smudgy light at dusk, and the abundant night which gives me permission to sleep long, without guilt.
Not sure why I think I have something meaningful to add to your beautiful reflection about winter and January in particular...but the nod to Wisconsin and Parker's 'cheesehead' comment invited a response.
I remember living in Green Bay, WI from 6th-7th grade and there was a city bus route that passed right by our house. Boys being boys (i.e., idiots) we would grab the rear bumper of the bus at the stop sign and "ski" behind it for a block or so. I believe our footwear in those days were those rubber galoshes with the metal fasteners. We didn't stop there and threw snowballs at passing cars, once to be chased by a very upset man. Snow forts and snowball fights, sledding, and skating somehow made winter a joyful time despite the cold and ice.
I now find myself in another season requiring me to search for joyful things following the death of my beloved in Sept 2023. I celebrated my 72nd birthday in early January, and some friends and I recently celebrated all of our birthdays (including Juli's who died 10 days after her birthday) with great food, homemade cupcakes, and warm friendship. I find myself waiting to discern what's next, and that waiting is much better enjoyed with lovely friends.
Okay, now for a brief public service announcement...several of us out here in the Pacific Northwest desperately want to attend your upcoming concert in Olympia, WA 2/10-11 but there is no information on tickets. I'm signed up on Bandsintown to receive notifications, but I thought maybe you could shed some light on that venue. Thanks for listening...
Hi David, Thank you for the Head up. The link is there now on my website tour page. http://tinyurl.com/3rp22r2y
I loved your description of growing up in Wisconsin. so many lovely images. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of someone so dear to you. These are losses we carry with us....but I often find that telling the stories helps...we do stay in relationship with those we love and have passed into the next mystery...but the relationship does transform. Stories are healing and honor that continued relationship. yes...discerning what's next is so much better with the support of trusted and cherished friends.
January is a divided month for me- I love the stillness and the slowing down after the hectic holidays, but I start feeling a little “stuck” and begin looking forward to spring travels. The metaphor for me, internally and externally, is “clearing”. Breathing in the wonderful clean air of winter in the country, and the clearness of the stars in the night sky, but an urge to also clear my home and my soul of things I no longer need or want.
My mother died in the month of December. The mourning comes in the winter dreary. Life in it’s circle I work at good memories and smile and know that the spring will be here soon.
I'm holding you in the Light as you mourn. Losing a mother is a deep and abiding loss, one like no other. Telling the stories is always helpful, it reminds me that my relationship doesnt end when those I love and who have passed from this mystery to the next,..but the relationship does transform. May you be comforted and find that peace beyond understanding as you grieve my dear.
Be brave enough to let your real self shine from within, and make it easier for those who like "people like you" to find you and let more friendships blossom and grow. There is much good around us, beauty outside and in.
I like your reflection here, Carrie. I live in Michigan. Many of the large ore and grain ships have traveled to numerous ports for their winter layups. It's where they sit to prepare for the next transport season. I see January as time of layup. A time to reflect on the prior year, learning from both the good and bad decisions I made, and the experiences I had. All to prepare the next exciting season of life and new adventures. As Socrates put it, the unexamined life is not worth living.
Hi Carrie, love your new album and the Buskirk concert was amazing! Do you have any plans for the East Coast near Baltimore/Washington DC this summer or Fall? Always loved seeing you at Bon Secours Retreat Center in Marriottsville.
we are in conversation with Bon Secours and a couple of other communities for the fall. Hopefully there will be confirmed information on the website soon :-) thanks for asking
Carrie, thank you so much for these refections on winter. This has definitely helped me to reflect on where I am right now. I feel a bit like a tree standing in the cold and snow, with no leaves and little color-- but at the same time, knowing there is new life in me. After having lung surgery in October, my singing voice was silenced, absent--which for me is like taking away one of the ways that I am most fully myself. This has also silenced my songwriting, another significant form of being fully myself. This month I began working with a voice coach, and life and strength are beginning to come back to my voice and my heart. It is not where it will be, but resting, finding nourishment and calm resurgence. The voice may sound different, but newness brings that element of surprise, change, rebirth. This winter my heart is opening, and readying for what I have not heard, but know is there. It is within me, finding it's spring...
Dearest Kim, I am so sorry for the necessity of lung surgury. I know that singing is a part of who you are, as it is for me. I'm grateful to hear that you are working with a voice coach. I know several musicians/vocalist who have come back even stronger from a temporary loss of voice, and having a good voice coach can be of huge help. But that hope does not diminish what it feels like during your recovery of voice, and what a deep and abiding time it is - learning to sing in new ways, from your heart with new songs will continue to unfold. I am holding you in the light my friend - for continued healing, for insights that turn to compassion in the silent times. You are not alone, and you can do this hard thing.
Carrie, thanks so much. Your words and kindness are a healing balm--just like your music has been through this period. I am fortunate to be surrounded by love , and trust that there is new life forming in the midst of this. Blessings in your tour--your music is something we all need in these days.
Winter memories … I’m #11 of 13 siblings. School day mornings were always a bustle, but when there was hope of a snow day, we’d all just be as quiet as mice just waiting, wishing, willing for the phone to ring and Mom to yell down the hallway “SNOWDAY”! Every single one of us would be up, out of bed, breakfast inhaled and OUT THE DOOR in no time at all. Not really the contemplative January that so many appreciate, but this is an absolute favorite memory of mine! January!!
Looking out my window, here in SE Michigan this past Monday, the snow returned, blanketing the ground while decorating the trees and shrubs with a cake-like white frosting. It seems like winter cannot make up its mind; the temperatures go from one extreme to another, as the snow comes and goes like irregular tides. The fog, during temperature inversions, mirrors my confusion about what is next in my life, as I move into a season of limited time. I am encouraged, in the murkiness, that a shape of a feeling appears, like a reflection in water, blurred by drops of rain rippling over an image I cannot quite discern. It reminds me of a Zen koan I am currently working with: “The coin that is lost in the river is found in the river.”
It seems like all the shifting that is normally hidden underground, in the quiet hibernation of winter, is now visible, exposing all the memories, dreams, and disappointments as they transform into something new. Unfortunately, at this time, I mostly notice the losses and mistakes, yet I am now gradually seeing the coin I thought I lost in the currents of all the progressions in my life. As I try to make every moment count, another one shows up, and my vision blurs again. However, the essence is still there; I just need to continue recognizing it through the ripples, so I can see where I was all along.
Denise and I have been thinking of our parents and Denise’s former mother-in-law and our dear friend Betty a lot this month. Your comment (so many years gone, and never really gone at all. Love is like that) really resonated with me. Thank you for this beautiful reflection. We are on the wait list for Shallowford and we are really looking forward to being with you at Our Lady of Gethsemani in June (I am on the ITMS board).
Thank you so much for this invitation to pause and reflect. 💖
“Even though someone we love passes beyond the veil of this life, the relationship doesn’t end, but it does transform.” Thank you Carrie for these words. I remember you telling me these words before and they have helped me when I think of my mom. I have been thinking of my mom a lot this winter too. I miss her dearly but I know she is still with me. Remembering your words gives me strength in times of sadness when I think of my mom and wish she were here. Thanks Carrie
I just shared a link that did not work.. sorry about that.. wanted to share a song about the love still remains... https://www.dropbox.com/scl/fi/lp135rgux3cnkbx69tm4r/My-Mom-Ruth-011124.mp3?rlkey=eztvhtqgxa1uraehi63v8if2a&dl=0
So beautiful, there is a white blanket of snow here in Sisters, OR too.. and a bit of ice! Thank you for saying that about your mother... I wrote a song after my Mom passed, called My Mom Ruth. It states what you just said. My Mom Ruth 011124.mp3
I resonated with your foregoing daily walks due to bitter cold and so enjoying the wonder of winter from your kitchen window. I love taking photos on y walks but have been content with rising early to watch the sun peak though the snowy trees and create lovely shadows on the ground. How interesting to find variety and wonder each day through the same window.
Inspired by the way you engage people's souls with stories and music from a distance, yet so close, which many churches are now trying to do to reach a wider audience. Would greatly enjoy your thoughts about watching the full eclipse in Indiana on April 8th.
Oh yes, I will be traveling back late into the night to be able to be home and present for the April 8th full eclipse. It is suppose to be pretty soul stirring! I already have my glasses!
Creating online community has become more important in the past years...particularly during the pandemic lock down. Its always a balance of enjoying online experience and in person it seems. I was in conversation last week with several pastors and church leaders who were talking about what spiritual community means in todays world. I think meaningful online community must include engagement. It is much less fullfilling to just observe spiritual community on sunday morning - taking in as if we were watching a tv show. But rather to create ways to engage, connect and be present. There are things about in-person community that cannot be replicated online. They are different experiences. so its always a balance of the two. But particularly now, having places to tap in, to get insight and community with our experience and important questions cannot always happen in person...so meaningful online conversation, questions, practices I find to be very helpful. thanks for your thoughts.
One of your most beautiful reflections, Carrie. Thank you. Winter is feeling especially precious this year. The smudgy light at dusk, and the abundant night which gives me permission to sleep long, without guilt.
Thank you MaryAnn. I'm touched. I love your posts at The Blue Room. They always have so hold so much wisdom and insight!
Not sure why I think I have something meaningful to add to your beautiful reflection about winter and January in particular...but the nod to Wisconsin and Parker's 'cheesehead' comment invited a response.
I remember living in Green Bay, WI from 6th-7th grade and there was a city bus route that passed right by our house. Boys being boys (i.e., idiots) we would grab the rear bumper of the bus at the stop sign and "ski" behind it for a block or so. I believe our footwear in those days were those rubber galoshes with the metal fasteners. We didn't stop there and threw snowballs at passing cars, once to be chased by a very upset man. Snow forts and snowball fights, sledding, and skating somehow made winter a joyful time despite the cold and ice.
I now find myself in another season requiring me to search for joyful things following the death of my beloved in Sept 2023. I celebrated my 72nd birthday in early January, and some friends and I recently celebrated all of our birthdays (including Juli's who died 10 days after her birthday) with great food, homemade cupcakes, and warm friendship. I find myself waiting to discern what's next, and that waiting is much better enjoyed with lovely friends.
Okay, now for a brief public service announcement...several of us out here in the Pacific Northwest desperately want to attend your upcoming concert in Olympia, WA 2/10-11 but there is no information on tickets. I'm signed up on Bandsintown to receive notifications, but I thought maybe you could shed some light on that venue. Thanks for listening...
Hi David, Thank you for the Head up. The link is there now on my website tour page. http://tinyurl.com/3rp22r2y
I loved your description of growing up in Wisconsin. so many lovely images. I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of someone so dear to you. These are losses we carry with us....but I often find that telling the stories helps...we do stay in relationship with those we love and have passed into the next mystery...but the relationship does transform. Stories are healing and honor that continued relationship. yes...discerning what's next is so much better with the support of trusted and cherished friends.
January is a divided month for me- I love the stillness and the slowing down after the hectic holidays, but I start feeling a little “stuck” and begin looking forward to spring travels. The metaphor for me, internally and externally, is “clearing”. Breathing in the wonderful clean air of winter in the country, and the clearness of the stars in the night sky, but an urge to also clear my home and my soul of things I no longer need or want.
My mother died in the month of December. The mourning comes in the winter dreary. Life in it’s circle I work at good memories and smile and know that the spring will be here soon.
I'm holding you in the Light as you mourn. Losing a mother is a deep and abiding loss, one like no other. Telling the stories is always helpful, it reminds me that my relationship doesnt end when those I love and who have passed from this mystery to the next,..but the relationship does transform. May you be comforted and find that peace beyond understanding as you grieve my dear.
Be brave enough to let your real self shine from within, and make it easier for those who like "people like you" to find you and let more friendships blossom and grow. There is much good around us, beauty outside and in.
This is so beautiful "Be brave enough to let your real self shine from within" thankyou Mike!
I like your reflection here, Carrie. I live in Michigan. Many of the large ore and grain ships have traveled to numerous ports for their winter layups. It's where they sit to prepare for the next transport season. I see January as time of layup. A time to reflect on the prior year, learning from both the good and bad decisions I made, and the experiences I had. All to prepare the next exciting season of life and new adventures. As Socrates put it, the unexamined life is not worth living.
Hi Carrie, love your new album and the Buskirk concert was amazing! Do you have any plans for the East Coast near Baltimore/Washington DC this summer or Fall? Always loved seeing you at Bon Secours Retreat Center in Marriottsville.
we are in conversation with Bon Secours and a couple of other communities for the fall. Hopefully there will be confirmed information on the website soon :-) thanks for asking
Carrie, thank you so much for these refections on winter. This has definitely helped me to reflect on where I am right now. I feel a bit like a tree standing in the cold and snow, with no leaves and little color-- but at the same time, knowing there is new life in me. After having lung surgery in October, my singing voice was silenced, absent--which for me is like taking away one of the ways that I am most fully myself. This has also silenced my songwriting, another significant form of being fully myself. This month I began working with a voice coach, and life and strength are beginning to come back to my voice and my heart. It is not where it will be, but resting, finding nourishment and calm resurgence. The voice may sound different, but newness brings that element of surprise, change, rebirth. This winter my heart is opening, and readying for what I have not heard, but know is there. It is within me, finding it's spring...
Dearest Kim, I am so sorry for the necessity of lung surgury. I know that singing is a part of who you are, as it is for me. I'm grateful to hear that you are working with a voice coach. I know several musicians/vocalist who have come back even stronger from a temporary loss of voice, and having a good voice coach can be of huge help. But that hope does not diminish what it feels like during your recovery of voice, and what a deep and abiding time it is - learning to sing in new ways, from your heart with new songs will continue to unfold. I am holding you in the light my friend - for continued healing, for insights that turn to compassion in the silent times. You are not alone, and you can do this hard thing.
Carrie, thanks so much. Your words and kindness are a healing balm--just like your music has been through this period. I am fortunate to be surrounded by love , and trust that there is new life forming in the midst of this. Blessings in your tour--your music is something we all need in these days.