What a wonderful gift you have given us! Another chance to pause, refocus, reflect, and treasure! (a few guitar chords drifting in the background would help with the tranquility here). There are so many levels, shades, flavors, and mixed-up metaphors to sort through. It is a joy to imagine stopping with you as you stop to enjoy the shared love between you and your mom. Thank you, Carrie.
I'm all verklempt. I miss my mother so much too, I'd love to be able to sit in the sunshine with her again and just be together. It will be 9 years since she passed.
Like to share this idea that 2 dear friends have come up with which I feel is great. ‘The 20 Minute Something’. It encourages us to create a space each day (20 minutes - no less!) to devote to resting in the ‘beingnesss’. It is time we allow ourselves to become the child at play, connecting with the great stillness within and letting our inner poet, musician, artist rise to the surface to bring something (or no-thing) out Into the light through that connection. Just to ‘be’ in prayer, meditation, walking in nature. It is the gift of time we give ourselves to connect and see differently.
It takes courage to let go after years of conditioning to ‘do’ and allow ourselves to ‘be’. As you say Carrie the quiet voice of the soul is waiting to be heard above the din of the everyday noise! I love the analogy of the deer in your woods and the quiet recognition soul to soul. Thank you.
I retired recently and am finding my way to a simpler place. After working for over 50 years, I now find myself in a "slow down" phase, and it is not coming easy. That "do-er" in me is still seeking to keep busy, while the "be-ing" that I am is calling me to relax and just be. It's a confusing, complex time. Yet, the birthing of new life within always comes with labor pains.
Yes, the poem “Floaters” was published in “A Permeable Life: Poems & Essays” its about the experience of getting floaters and how distressing it was. Honestly, I don’t notice them now except in bright sunlight. Your eyes get used to them and stop “seeing” them. But at first it was very strange. It was also getting hit with that line “now that you’re getting older” :-)
Well..... yes. Getting accustomed to the way we see the world, both physcially AND philosophically.... the challenges await!!
I am resigned to the surgery that I need to correct my issue , being told that my vision will never be corrected....just "smoothed out" with the risk of more repeated surgeries that may deal with extenuating conditions that are related.
So.... why, may I ask, am I even considering this initial procedure to begin with?
That is where I am.
I think I can live with this just the way it is...... thank you.
I am thinking about you in your own adjustments to this seasoned existence of ours.
I finally had time to read this all the way through (the "doer" in me is smiling. I immediately thought about how I tease my 96 year old father about how well he taught me and my siblings a good German work ethic. I don't think we knew we had a choice about being doers.
And oh can I relate to this essay. I've been retired for 2 years now and am taking more time to read and pause. Mostly I'm trying to forgive myself for not paying attention to my soul as much as I should have. The good news is that the soul is a forgiving sort.
Carrie, thank you so much for framing this in such a beautiful loving way. In my contemplative community we talk about “moving at the speed of soul.” To us It means taking time to pause and listen to where our soul is leading, always respecting the needs and limits of our humanity. I’m a do-er myself, firmly entrenched in that second half of life, and I find this idea a lovely companion to what you’ve shared here.
After over half a century of employment (and with the help of the pandemic) I was determined that I was going to do a better job of focusing on being and allowing whatever I do to flow out of that. For years I felt guilty any time I took time to just breathe, and it is a hard habit to break. I even took on a part time job almost as soon as the pandemic eased. I find myself thinking about what I will leave and returning to some of my poetry, music and other creative endeavors. Many mornings though I sit by a nearby lake as the sun comes up and go "wow, for me!".
Ha! What a wonderful invitation to accompany my soul and enter the mystery and magic of life. These stories of your encounter with your daughter/mother and then the doe in the woods, touched me deeply. Thanks for making your adventures accessible and for making so much powerful music that reflects same! I find that the music speaks to my soul deeply and gives voice to experiences I have yet to name. So healing as I move from doer to a more intentional be-er! I am so grateful!
Carrie, as I sit staring at my long list of “to-dos” for this week, I am so glad that I opened this email. It has caused me to slow down, to FEEL my own sadness about rushing to this and that and missing out on the joy of the journey. I feel the things I am giving my time to are important but I get so anxious over all the minutia in the planning and logistics that I miss the joy of the intentions.
And I send prayers to you, Ann. What a lovely conversation to begin the morning! I'm familiar with Hay House but was unaware of their audio app. I'll check it out. Thanks so much!
I see myself as a doer. When my daughter was much younger our life was spent rushing around to Arenas and ball diamonds and like you mentioned Carrie not enough hours in a day. Now that she’s grown and away at College my husband and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves. With constantly doing, we forgot what being felt like. I decided to create a personal space for me in one of our spare rooms that had been our catch all room. I now have my sacred space to go and just be. Yes I also practice my guitar, read, listen to music, and work on my laptop but I’m always reminded while in my room to just be.
I also learned to just be throughout my journey with my mom with Alzheimer’s. Just to stop and be in the moment, just listen, open my eyes to the big picture. Then I was able to see that journey in a different light. Now that she has passed, I’m much more aware of being than doing all the time.
Thank you Carrie for your wonderful post. I love waking up Sunday mornings to them!!!
My mother, who died early in the pandemic, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years earlier. When we would visit her there in Southern Indiana from Iowa I found myself often trying to take up the time with talking until I realized that was for me not her, and I learned to just sit quietly with her. For many years though even after I do not believe she even knew who I was, I could take my guitar and start singing old familiar hymns and she would sing the along with me (usually the alto). I wrote a song around that as a part of the celebration of her life.
Dale that is beautiful and heart felt. Im still learning g guitar and hoped one day to play for my mom. Sadly that never happened as she passed last October. I worked hard and practiced until her celebration of life and I played Amazing Grace. I know she heard me from up there. Music was the number one thing that reached within my mom. She too would sing right along in harmony even though she couldn't speak a word. I also came to realize the same thing as you that just sitting and being with her in the moment just holding her hand and gazing into her eyes knowing she was in there somewhere was much more impactful than trying to fill the time with words, like you said was for me and not her.
I would love to hear your song and see the lyrics sometime.
Thank you Tracey for this insightful post. Yes, I remember when my daughter left for college and I realized how much of my daily attention was focused on her schedule, well being and nurturing. It was bittersweet of course, I loved that time in my life and looking back it felt a bit like a whirlwind. Children change and grow up so quickly. It was right and correct and exciting and good that she was becoming her amazing adult self and heading off to experience life. She didn’t need my daily nurture anymore, at least in the way a small or young child does. But there was also an opening, a space that I could choose to fill or not fill in whatever way my heart led. It is lovely to hear about what you’ve been exploring - creating a space of your own, for art and music, reading and to “be” with what fills your heart and spirit.
I am also so touched with your open hearted stories about what you experienced with accompanying your beloved mother on the journey of Alzheimer’s. What a poignant way of “being” with someone who may not remember what was said in an hour. I have a friend who’s father was on a similar journey. He said that he was transformed forever by the experience. At first he railed against what was happening, wanting his father to remember and interact as he had in the past. But eventually he came to appreciate that his time with his father was sacred, in that moment. He could relax a bit and just “be” with his beloved dad, meeting him where he was at that moment in time, treasuring that moment in time. It sounds like your experience was similar in some ways….that you learned to listen more deeply, more presently, with love and acceptance and kindness. It was a great sorrow I know…but perhaps there were aspects of gift in learning to “be” with someone you love so much…with open hearted listening, presence and compassion. Thanks again…your comments are always so thoughtful!
What a wonderful gift you have given us! Another chance to pause, refocus, reflect, and treasure! (a few guitar chords drifting in the background would help with the tranquility here). There are so many levels, shades, flavors, and mixed-up metaphors to sort through. It is a joy to imagine stopping with you as you stop to enjoy the shared love between you and your mom. Thank you, Carrie.
I'm all verklempt. I miss my mother so much too, I'd love to be able to sit in the sunshine with her again and just be together. It will be 9 years since she passed.
Like to share this idea that 2 dear friends have come up with which I feel is great. ‘The 20 Minute Something’. It encourages us to create a space each day (20 minutes - no less!) to devote to resting in the ‘beingnesss’. It is time we allow ourselves to become the child at play, connecting with the great stillness within and letting our inner poet, musician, artist rise to the surface to bring something (or no-thing) out Into the light through that connection. Just to ‘be’ in prayer, meditation, walking in nature. It is the gift of time we give ourselves to connect and see differently.
It takes courage to let go after years of conditioning to ‘do’ and allow ourselves to ‘be’. As you say Carrie the quiet voice of the soul is waiting to be heard above the din of the everyday noise! I love the analogy of the deer in your woods and the quiet recognition soul to soul. Thank you.
a great reminder of what some wise soul once said (though I can't recall who it was) - we are human "be-ings" not human "do-ings."
I retired recently and am finding my way to a simpler place. After working for over 50 years, I now find myself in a "slow down" phase, and it is not coming easy. That "do-er" in me is still seeking to keep busy, while the "be-ing" that I am is calling me to relax and just be. It's a confusing, complex time. Yet, the birthing of new life within always comes with labor pains.
Quick question: Did you write an entry/poem called "Floaters" recently, or am I losing my mind.....?
Just need to know more details of this narrative..... I am dealing with similar eye issues that are concerning.....
Yes, the poem “Floaters” was published in “A Permeable Life: Poems & Essays” its about the experience of getting floaters and how distressing it was. Honestly, I don’t notice them now except in bright sunlight. Your eyes get used to them and stop “seeing” them. But at first it was very strange. It was also getting hit with that line “now that you’re getting older” :-)
Oh, yes..... "now that we are getting older".
The laundry list of "stuff", indeed.
Well..... yes. Getting accustomed to the way we see the world, both physcially AND philosophically.... the challenges await!!
I am resigned to the surgery that I need to correct my issue , being told that my vision will never be corrected....just "smoothed out" with the risk of more repeated surgeries that may deal with extenuating conditions that are related.
So.... why, may I ask, am I even considering this initial procedure to begin with?
That is where I am.
I think I can live with this just the way it is...... thank you.
I am thinking about you in your own adjustments to this seasoned existence of ours.
Fine wine, we are, right?
Many hugs of admiration from Your Beth Friend
I finally had time to read this all the way through (the "doer" in me is smiling. I immediately thought about how I tease my 96 year old father about how well he taught me and my siblings a good German work ethic. I don't think we knew we had a choice about being doers.
And oh can I relate to this essay. I've been retired for 2 years now and am taking more time to read and pause. Mostly I'm trying to forgive myself for not paying attention to my soul as much as I should have. The good news is that the soul is a forgiving sort.
Carrie, thank you so much for framing this in such a beautiful loving way. In my contemplative community we talk about “moving at the speed of soul.” To us It means taking time to pause and listen to where our soul is leading, always respecting the needs and limits of our humanity. I’m a do-er myself, firmly entrenched in that second half of life, and I find this idea a lovely companion to what you’ve shared here.
After over half a century of employment (and with the help of the pandemic) I was determined that I was going to do a better job of focusing on being and allowing whatever I do to flow out of that. For years I felt guilty any time I took time to just breathe, and it is a hard habit to break. I even took on a part time job almost as soon as the pandemic eased. I find myself thinking about what I will leave and returning to some of my poetry, music and other creative endeavors. Many mornings though I sit by a nearby lake as the sun comes up and go "wow, for me!".
Your welcome.
Long may you find the audio book
etc fulfill and delight you if you choose to subscribe to them.
Blessings
Ann Siddique😀
Ha! What a wonderful invitation to accompany my soul and enter the mystery and magic of life. These stories of your encounter with your daughter/mother and then the doe in the woods, touched me deeply. Thanks for making your adventures accessible and for making so much powerful music that reflects same! I find that the music speaks to my soul deeply and gives voice to experiences I have yet to name. So healing as I move from doer to a more intentional be-er! I am so grateful!
Carrie, as I sit staring at my long list of “to-dos” for this week, I am so glad that I opened this email. It has caused me to slow down, to FEEL my own sadness about rushing to this and that and missing out on the joy of the journey. I feel the things I am giving my time to are important but I get so anxious over all the minutia in the planning and logistics that I miss the joy of the intentions.
Thanks for your touching words, Carrie.
And I send prayers to you, Ann. What a lovely conversation to begin the morning! I'm familiar with Hay House but was unaware of their audio app. I'll check it out. Thanks so much!
I see myself as a doer. When my daughter was much younger our life was spent rushing around to Arenas and ball diamonds and like you mentioned Carrie not enough hours in a day. Now that she’s grown and away at College my husband and I didn’t know what to do with ourselves. With constantly doing, we forgot what being felt like. I decided to create a personal space for me in one of our spare rooms that had been our catch all room. I now have my sacred space to go and just be. Yes I also practice my guitar, read, listen to music, and work on my laptop but I’m always reminded while in my room to just be.
I also learned to just be throughout my journey with my mom with Alzheimer’s. Just to stop and be in the moment, just listen, open my eyes to the big picture. Then I was able to see that journey in a different light. Now that she has passed, I’m much more aware of being than doing all the time.
Thank you Carrie for your wonderful post. I love waking up Sunday mornings to them!!!
My mother, who died early in the pandemic, had been diagnosed with Alzheimer's a few years earlier. When we would visit her there in Southern Indiana from Iowa I found myself often trying to take up the time with talking until I realized that was for me not her, and I learned to just sit quietly with her. For many years though even after I do not believe she even knew who I was, I could take my guitar and start singing old familiar hymns and she would sing the along with me (usually the alto). I wrote a song around that as a part of the celebration of her life.
Dale that is beautiful and heart felt. Im still learning g guitar and hoped one day to play for my mom. Sadly that never happened as she passed last October. I worked hard and practiced until her celebration of life and I played Amazing Grace. I know she heard me from up there. Music was the number one thing that reached within my mom. She too would sing right along in harmony even though she couldn't speak a word. I also came to realize the same thing as you that just sitting and being with her in the moment just holding her hand and gazing into her eyes knowing she was in there somewhere was much more impactful than trying to fill the time with words, like you said was for me and not her.
I would love to hear your song and see the lyrics sometime.
I am not sure how all of this works, but we would have to communicate more dirctly.
Thank you Tracey for this insightful post. Yes, I remember when my daughter left for college and I realized how much of my daily attention was focused on her schedule, well being and nurturing. It was bittersweet of course, I loved that time in my life and looking back it felt a bit like a whirlwind. Children change and grow up so quickly. It was right and correct and exciting and good that she was becoming her amazing adult self and heading off to experience life. She didn’t need my daily nurture anymore, at least in the way a small or young child does. But there was also an opening, a space that I could choose to fill or not fill in whatever way my heart led. It is lovely to hear about what you’ve been exploring - creating a space of your own, for art and music, reading and to “be” with what fills your heart and spirit.
I am also so touched with your open hearted stories about what you experienced with accompanying your beloved mother on the journey of Alzheimer’s. What a poignant way of “being” with someone who may not remember what was said in an hour. I have a friend who’s father was on a similar journey. He said that he was transformed forever by the experience. At first he railed against what was happening, wanting his father to remember and interact as he had in the past. But eventually he came to appreciate that his time with his father was sacred, in that moment. He could relax a bit and just “be” with his beloved dad, meeting him where he was at that moment in time, treasuring that moment in time. It sounds like your experience was similar in some ways….that you learned to listen more deeply, more presently, with love and acceptance and kindness. It was a great sorrow I know…but perhaps there were aspects of gift in learning to “be” with someone you love so much…with open hearted listening, presence and compassion. Thanks again…your comments are always so thoughtful!
Your poem to the titmouse brought me to tears.
BTW: Parker Palmer is one of my wife's favorite people from her days at Wilmington.
Come to the east coast with your musical wisdom...