Revisiting - Singing In The Dark

An expanded repost with narration

This is an expanded repost of my December 18, 2022 post “Singing In The Dark”. It was written after visiting the Abby of Gethsemani and attending the 3am vigil.

As we move toward the solstice when we experience the shortest days of the year, let us remember how the light always returns. Let us keep singing in the dark.

- Carrie

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(December 18, 2022)

Last weekend I visited The Abbey of Gethsemani, which is the oldest Trappist monastery in the United States. There is a small hermitage on the grounds where monk, author, mystic, poet and social activist, Thomas Merton, lived and wrote his more than 50 books on spirituality, interfaith understanding, eastern and western mystic contemplative practice and peacemaking. The Cistercian (Trappist) monks of this community are dedicated to lives of simplicity, prayer, contemplation, meaningful work, solitude and union. Together they practice the daily Liturgy of the Hours, which means seven times each day, they stop everything they are doing to gather as a community and sing. They believe this practice of regular prayer and singing is a way to express their devotion and that it is a manner of doing service to all humankind.

This past weekend I enjoyed the quiet of the Abbey and walking the trails around the monastery. I was invited by my friends Judith Valente and Br. Paul Quenon, to sing at a small dedication, book/poetry reading that happened with a few close friends around the warm hearth of the Merton Hermitage. I also attended many of the Liturgy of the Hours including the earliest Vigil.

The Vigil happens at 3:15AM, and so when I heard the monastery bell ring at 2:45 AM I pulled on my jeans and sweater, dragged a brush through my hair and splashed a little water on my face. When I reached the elegant church space ( which is reminiscent in some ways of expanded Quaker meeting house in its simplicity) the monks were already gathering. The Vigil happens during darkest time of the night, and in December, during one of the darkest days of the year. The monks began to sing, pray and chant —sometimes together, sometimes a single voice, sometimes in call and response. In the light of that expansive space I could not help but feel these humble songs were one of the threads that hold this beautiful and broken world together. There is something wide and transcending at the heart of a true song. Something is nurtured in the world whenever a poem is spoken aloud or a song is sung in community. Sitting at Vigil I had the sense that we are not held together just by gravity (which keeps the planets in orbit) or electromagnetic forces (forever attracting electron to proton), but by the sincerity of our good intentions and the renewing of our hopes through daily action. We are at least in part, held together by the power of the songs we continue to sing faithfully, even at the darkest hour of the night, during the darkest days of the year.

Honestly, I personally don’t know what to do with the problem of deformed religion. Religion has been used (and is still being used) as reasoning or excuse for all manner of violence, oppression, war and injustice. I probably don’t have to say that, but it felt important that I put my dilemma authentically out there. And yet, there are moments when I’ve sensed that there is more to the world than body and bones, A Great Luminous and unnamable something that is always shining just below the surface of all things. It has happened in moments of awe and wonder, in relationships and the natural world, and pretty much every time I open my heart and sing, and on that night in the warm candlelight, listening to the sounds of ancient prayers lifting into the church and then beyond, I sensed something made mostly of mercy filling the space.

And so, on that dark night I found myself deeply touched and moved by this community of monks who faithfully keep vigil, singing for those (awake or asleep) at the most vulnerable time of the day. I continue to be comforted by the fact that there are so many of us who literally and metaphorically continue to sing in the dark, lean into the light and believe in what is still so worthy and beautiful, despite all the brokenness of a suffering world. I am encouraged that what continues to connect us may not be gravity (that pulls us down), but rather a song (that lift us up).

I am not sure about what will or will not happen in regards to organized religion. That feels like an entirely different question than asking what might be possible when the spirit of something fine and true is actually embodied. What might be softened and strengthened when our joy and suffering is shared, when our longing and sorrows are held with compassion and care. What might be possible if we decide to lay down all the distractions of our lives for a few moments each day to either sing or simply say “I noticed” or “I’m so grateful.”

And so at the turning of the year, as the daylight hours begin to slowly lengthen in the northern hemisphere, remember when you wake from a an unsettled dream or siren in the night or train whistle or bard owl or thunder— remember my dearest, there is ever and always a song in the world - and it is being sung for you.

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Music…always music

This is a song called “Singing in the Dark” that was born out of the experience of attending the Vigil and my conversation later with Father Lawrence, one of the monks at the Abbey of Gethsemani . It appeared on my recording "A Great Wild Mercy” and co-written with my good friend John McCutcheon.

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Practice

Set your calendar alerts for three times in the next day. At each alert - take three deep breaths and say aloud something for which you are grateful.

Question

As we move closer to the time when the days will begin to lengthen, let us know how you personally “sing in the dark” for yourself and for others.

Tour and Workshop Schedule

I will be taking a break from touring for the next few weeks for the holiday and some creative writing time. Thank you to everyone who came out to shows and lifted our voices together. I’ll see you back on the road in the new year. You can check out my upcoming public appearances and retreats this spring by visiting my Website Tour Page

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If you would like to bring me to your community for a concert, retreat or keynote feel free to contact my office listed on my Website Contact and Booking Page.

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