Holding The Both/And Of Human Possibility

The Bright The Beautiful And Bewildering

Photo by Matthieu Beaumont on Unsplash

When my woefully late flight finally arrived into a tiny regional airport long after midnight all the kiosks had rolled down their metal enclosures. The final travelers had gotten their luggage and the airport was emptying fast with even the employees either gone or packing up. I stood with my guitar case and bag, feeling like road dirt and staring at the sign tacked up on the closed rental car booth counter announcing “Open at 9AM”. This little regional airport was surrounded by unlit farmland and thirty minutes by car to the nearest tiny town. Walking to my hotel was not going to be an option. I called the town’s one taxi service, which was also closed. Uber did not exist yet. I called the hotel which informed me there was no shuttle. It was becoming clear that I would be spending the night in an airport chair, using my coat for a blanket.

The very last couple leaving the baggage claim saw me standing at the closed rental car booth, probably looking pretty forlorn. They stopped and asked me if I had a ride coming. I told them the rental car kiosk had closed hours ago, there were no taxis or hotel shuttles and I’d probably be sleeping at this empty airport until morning when the rental car booth reopened. They looked at one another (they had been on my same late flight) and said they would be happy to give me a ride to the hotel. Relief rolled down my shoulders and I told them I would be eternally grateful for their help. So as the last lights were dimming in the airport we packed up the back of their car with our things and headed into town. We talked about that region of the country in the springtime, family, music and traveling and I discovered they were returning home from a trip to Australia. With all the weather delays they were more than thirty hours into traveling, but were heading home right after they dropped me off. They were lovely people. When we reached the hotel I offered to help pay for gas (which they graciously refused) and I gave them as many CDs as they would accept. As they were about to leave I mentioned how grateful I was for their help and grateful that my hotel was on their way home. The woman chuckled and the fellow said, “well actually we live about 45 minutes the other direction" and I realized they had added a full hour to their already brutally long travel day —to help out someone they didn’t know who was going to have to sleep in an airport alone until morning.

I hugged them both, they smiled and waved and drove off into the night. I don’t remember their names, but I do remember their kindness and the unadorned generosity of those two people to this day. Thank you where ever you are. You made a difference, and the memory still reminds me that all is not lost, there is still so much goodness and decency in the world.

This is just one story of so many I hold dear, so many stories of expressions of kindness and goodness that show up everyday.

I think my life as a traveling folksinger has taught me many things which include—

1. You can always trust a Starbuck’s bathroom. 2. Life is always going to throw you a lot of unexpected curves, but eventually, you do get to the place that you most need to go. 3. I can go ahead and assume there are good hearted people everywhere and that just when I’m at my most weary they will surprise and inspire me.

Now for the Both/And

A couple of weeks ago I watched a clip of the former president speak from his lofty platform making jokes about people who stutter, mimicking their struggle with a difficult speech challenge in a brutally ugly way. Honestly, this particular person has done and said things that are not just ugly, but down right dangerous to our democracy. It has become nothing new to be shocked or saddened or deeply concerned about the things he does or promises to do. And yet, this recent mimicking took my breath away. My grandmother suffered with a profound stutter. My husband’s father overcame a stutter and went on to become a professor of speech and hearing at Purdue University, working to help those who were challenged as he was. I felt as if 45 had just slapped not just two people my husband and I loved, but every person with a speech challenge and the families who love and support them. It is not the first time this man has used the dangerous tools of authoritarianism to marginalize, demonize or dehumanize entire groups of people (immigrants, persons of color, women, persons with disabilities, and others). But this felt so personal in its unapologetic meanness. I have to admit here, that it completely bewilders me how this dangerous and hate filled behavior is being supported and even lifted up in our current political and media system. I can’t imagine how hard it must be for all the good parents (or grandparents) out there to explain to their children (or grandchildren) why its okay for this man, (who we would traditionally look to for leadership) to bully or belittle people with disabilities or lie on his taxes, or even sexually assault women…even though these are absolutely not values they want their children to express or call their own.

And so, I’m left with the realization that two things can be true at the same time.

It is absolutely true that there are good people everywhere—people who will reach out and help, people who will sometimes work across differences for important things they love and value. I know this and I have experienced it personally over and over again in my lifetime. But I must also hold as true that there are people in the world modeling, promoting and spreading hateful behavior, who engage in acts of great cruelty either deliberately or unconsciously. I must hold true that for some people greed or power or hatred has spread out from a small knot in the heart to expressing itself in all aspects of their lives. Hate is like that…you cannot easily confine it to a selected target, it grows in the heart and body and the effect on a person is tragic to behold.

I believe it is possible to hold the both/and of human possibility, to believe in the goodness I encounter everywhere and the Sacred Light that resides in each human heart. I can believe in this as I also acknowledge our human potential for the many kinds of violence that grow out of fear, hatred or suffering. Basically…I believe that love is pretty simple but that people…well people can be pretty complicated (myself included). And yet, I still believe in redemption and that people (again myself included) can learn and change and heal and find their own way and let go of all those shadowy hard knots.

And so how shall we live?

It is important we name what is bright and beautiful and remind one another that love is still the greatest power and that love is still here and that it is not the realm of one political group or another. It is also important to lovingly but courageously name what is unkind, demeaning, hateful or ugly - call it by its name, so in the light of that naming we can correct course and turn toward something kinder and truer.

And then after the naming, engage in these timely and important questions —

What shall I do and how shall I live into my deepest values? How do I find and honor those threads of goodness and connection that exist even across differences? What are the things I can personally do each day, that hold the realities of what is hard as stone, and yet foster hope and movement forward? How do I name what needs to be named with courage and love. How do I make my hopes and values clear by doing as the Quakers say, by “letting my life speak”? And when do I not engage because I know that certain topics will be too emotionally triggering for me to be effective in that conversation, or because I must assume a starting point where I cannot begin?

I believe we are at a tipping point, a time all when all of our daily actions matter— for justice, for the environment, for democracy, for lifting up our potential for goodness and ability to learn. So let us continue to have honest, meaningful conversations about how to live with the both/and of our current world, to name and then encourage what is tipping the balance toward the light. Yes, my friends, we can do this hard thing.

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Practice

Journal about a small kindness someone extended to you and how it still resonates. Breathe for awhile with this story, and then send love and gratitude to the person who extended the kindness in the story.

Question

Let us remind one another we are not alone in our concerns for our increasingly divided world. You can simply put in the comments "I’m here, I care and we are in this together” or some other phrase of presence and encouragement.

One Inch Photos - What I Saw This Week

Its springtime in the Midwest and the Redbuds are just about ready to bloom!

Its Springtime in the Midwest! The redbuds are just about ready to bloom!

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Upcoming Shows and Events

For details visit my website tour page www.carrienewcomer.com/tour

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And once again…Last but not least, great appreciation to you, all The Gathering of Spirits community for your support for one another, and for helping to keep the lights on here at my substack page!!