I have an Australian shepherd mix rescue dog named Lily, who carries in her courageous little heart the working DNA of a true herder. As a younger dog she could run like the wind and turn on a dime. These days, with advancing arthritis she runs a bit slower but still with exceptional earnestness. She is ever vigilant for what may be changing on the perimeter of our world, watching for wolves which could be anywhere—at the door, in the bathroom, in your purse, even that piece of Kleenex on the floor just might be a wolf and yes, don’t worry, she’s totally on it. She’s fiercely loyal to those in her care, and well…she’s a worrier.
I feel a lot of kinship with Lily. I’ve always had pretty highly tuned antennae. I was that funny little kid who noticed things, sensed unspoken undercurrents and asked questions in Sunday school that children were not supposed to ask. Lily and I have an understanding. I allow her to follow me from room to room, always positioning herself between me and whatever door, window, closet, waste basket or chest of drawers most likely to be hiding wolves. She doesn’t ask me to stop singing to the deer just off the trail. The relationship works. I appreciate her ability to size up a room as soon as she steps through the door. And in these troubled times, I have growing empathy for her general disposition of concern.
Once Lily and I were walking along the ridge line path. The sun was getting low and I was quickening my steps to make it back before I needed a flashlight to navigate the steep switch back that leads down the hill to my home. Just then two coyotes and what looked to be a large husky or German Shepard coy-dog trotted across the path and headed into the woods. My forty-five pound defender leapt to my protection, charging the pack barking her warning, “I have my eyes on yoooou, and yooooou, and yoooou. Don’t get any ideas yoooooou……you you you….. off brand wolves!” The three creatures turned and considered the relative size of my Lily. They caught one another’s eyes, lowered their heads and started to circle her, getting into position to attack. Lily stood with her feet apart, growling with determination, faithfully guarding her beloved herd of one. Then my own internal defender kicked in and I ran to Lily, waving my hands, shouting, making myself as big as possible. The two coyotes and the large coy-dog looked up, surprised by the small woman crashing into the brush, making a terrible racket. They looked at one another and with what I could only interpret as a shaggy shrug, they turned and slipped away into the growing dark. I put my arms around Lily, who was trembling but still willing to defend me, if I only asked. I was shaking too. Relieved and grateful that she had my back, I had her back, and that we were both safe.
Courage has nothing to do with being unafraid. Courage has everything to do with loving something or someone enough to brave the scary parts. Love is like that.
It’s been a hard week in our little Indiana college community as recent non-violent peace protests were met with state police carrying semi automatic weapons, riot gear, and several snipers with high powered rifles were allowed to set up on the rooftop of a campus building. The actions taken by Indiana University president, Pamela Whitten, were in response to non-violent expressions of protected free speech, and they were stunning in their aggressiveness. Placing peacefully protesting students, faculty and community members in such mortal danger was unconscionable. The events of that day were well documented and described by the people who were present, public media reporters, photos and live videos. I am still trying to fathom how a university administrator decided it was a good idea to send in armed professionals like a pack of predators to surround and intimidate a non-violent gathering of students calling for and end to war.
We are living in a time of change, a tipping point that requires those of us who care to call out bullying and intimidation. It is a time when we all need to step-up courageously, calling out attacks on our freedom to peaceful expression, and call out militaristic suppression of diverse ideas for what they are —even when it feels uncomfortable, even when the coyotes circle. It can be very hard to creatively hold the tensions of a diverse society, but it is in the holding of our differences and faithfully working toward solutions that keeps a democratic system dynamic and alive.
I am dedicated to the process, even when it is difficult. We are living in a time when we are being told from countless sources that we are hopelessly divided and that there are no bridges. But I don’t believe this to be true. Maybe this is because I’m a songwriter and because I have seen how at the center of a good song, we still recognize one another. At the heart of an honest human story of love, grief, joy, suffering or humor, we still meet one another and nod. When we are able to step back and as my friend Parker J. Palmer says, “turn to wonder” we may see a path ahead of us that was not clear at first. When we stop lining up on either side of an intractable statement and meet at the heart of the most important questions—we may find a viable way forward. I believe in this possibility because I have seen it happen over and over again.
But I also know that in these times, when some will choose to intimidate and bully, I may need to crash into the brush, speak up and come to the aid or stand in solidarity with the people and values I love. This is the true work of love. Even now. Even now.
Carrie
Practice
Quiet and center yourself for a few moments. Breathe a few deep cleansing breaths. Acknowledge your own weariness of conflict. Hold that weariness tenderly and with compassion. Breathe a few more deep cleansing breaths. Now sense a beautiful extended community of courage and care. Know that there are still countless people like yourself who are committed to a way forward. Feel the support and know that this is the work of love. Even now.
Question
Let one another know how you appreciate this gathered community of care. Some short sentence of phrase of encouragement….if you don’t know where to start, begin with “You can do this hard thing.”
Tour and Travel
I’ll be taking a bit of time this summer to work on a new collection of songs…and maybe a new book. It’s been a fabulous season of travel, retreats and concerts. Gary Walters and I have loved bringing the songs from A Great Wild Mercy to so many welcoming, amazing communities across this country. I’m especially excited to finish up the fall thru spring Great Wild Mercy album tour with a very special performance at my Alma Mater, Goshen College with a full string quartet and featuring Gary’s beautiful arrangements. I hope you’ll join us! For details visit my website tour page www.carrienewcomer.com/tour
Four dead in Ohio. I was young then. A lot of water under the bridge but it seems like I'm seeing the same water again and again.
I have a much stronger faith now than then.
I love this community! It’s like having a community of friends from all over. I like that I can enter into this space even if only for a moment or two and be able to breathe and slow down from the fast pace of life. I anxiously wait for the Sunday and Wednesday posts!
Courage is not just overcoming a fear( though I have overcome many because of knowing you Carrie) it’s about loving someone or something so much you are willing to walk through the scariest storms for them.
Your story about you and Lily reminded me of the love between a mother and daughter. Courage for me was caring for my mom as she once cared for me, when she took sick. It’s knowing when it was time to move her into Longterm care. It’s about becoming her voice, her advocate when she no longer was able to have a voice of her own. The biggest courage was loving her so much that I let her go. If only we had so much more of this courage in our world.
I was so, so happy to see you Friday at the Ark. Your shows are always amazing, raw and intentional. That’s what I admire about you. Thank you for signing the 2 cds, only 18 more to go!! I love the picture of us too! Until we meet again….