Bigger Than A Bus
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When my daughter, Amelia, was three years old we invented a little game called “bigger than a bus.” We’d be driving in the car, or walking to the park, or I’d be rolling her along in a grocery cart and I’d ask, “Guess how much I love you?” and then she would smile (because she knew the game) and say, “How much mommie?” Then it was my turn and I would answer with, “I love you bigger than a bus, bigger than a truck, bigger than an airplane, bigger than the tallest tallest tree, bigger than the moon, bigger than the sun, bigger than all the way to ends of the universe and back again” - usually producing a grin a and a giggle and sometimes a hug. As time went on, Amelia began to regularly request the game, saying “ do bigger than a bus mommie, do bigger than a bus” and off we go, listing and naming all the ways I loved her.
After several months of this, one day while idling at a stoplight she looked at me with a sparkle in her eyes and said, “Guess how much I love you?” She had never taken the lead on the game before and so I beamed inside knowing the recitation of love that was coming. So I played along and said, “How much honey?” She took a deep breath and very proudly put her little dimpled fingers together almost touching and said “thiiiissssssssssss muuuuuuuch!” Well, I was surprised by this answer I said, “hummm, that’s not very much honey.” And she turned and leveled her eyes at me in a way that I would come to know in her teenager years as the geeze-louise-you-have-to-explain-things-to-my-mother-sooooooooo-slowly look and said, “Well, I’m just a little girl.”
I laughed and agreed, and said yes, that was still a whole lotta of love for a little bitty girl, and to this day we still sign emails or birthday cards or even an occasional text with “bigger than a bus.” It has become shorthand for love that is always and ever, love that is witty and wide, love that can be relied upon in the course of an ordinary day, when times are hard, or because it is the silver thread that runs through the fabric of our lives.
This is a poem by the poet, Jack Ridl, called Take Love For Granted. The title caught my attention the first time I read it. I generally think a lot about gratitude and being aware of things that are important, and so the title saying to take something so luminous for granted pulled me in. I really appreciated the way this poem and the poet describes love as being ever present and gloriously reliable. Love and kindness are not so rare in the world. It is here in the cup of tea, in the text from a friend, it is in the way the redbuds and dogwoods are coming in to bloom, in the last notes of a beautiful song, love is everywhere whether we are paying attention or not. Love is the thread that holds this life and world together— we can expect it, feel it, be held in its grace and faithfulness.
In a time when there are so many challenges, so much pulling at the edges of the fabric, it is good to remember that we are still connected and that love is still here, shining and true and bigger-than-a-bus.
You can check out Jack’s website, blog and more of his poetry on his website Here, or you can find his books on amazon Here.
Question
What did this poem bring up for you? Is love a rarified experience, or do you experience it in large and small ways everyday? OR What do you love bigger than a bus :-)
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One Inch Photos
My wonderful son-in-law, Ben Aldred, is a fine photographer and took a collection of early spring photos here in the woods. Many thanks to Ben for permission to share these here on the Gathering of Spirits. If you want to see more of Ben’s images you can visit his Instagram page at www.instagram.com/sleepingscholar
As children, I used to read “Where the Wild Things Are” to my younger brother. The phrase said by the monsters, “Please don’t go, we’ll eat you up, we love you so”, became the phrase we said to each other. And we still say it (I’m 62, he’s 57), a sweet memory after all these years…
When she was a little girl our granddaughter would say, “I love you MORE!” when we would tell her that we loved her. The way that she said it seemed much more than a trope, but a genuine statement of reciprocal love. Now that she is a young woman, we always end our FaceTimes with her with “We love YOU more” sort of getting there first. She always smiles and still then says “No, I love YOU more!” We treasure this, and often say this to each other as well now.